Friday, September 16, 2011

Friday, September 16, 2011Friday Five: Seeking What?

Jan is making us use our thinking caps:  I was struck in our weekly Lectio Divina group by a few verses from Psalm 105:3-4:

. . . let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice.

Seek the Lord and his strength;

seek his presence continually.

Seeking is rejoicing. Rejoicing comes from the seeking, NOT the end of glory, heaven, enlightenment, or whatever. Seeking is the journey--RIGHT NOW!

So for this Friday Five, list what you are seeking, whether it is trivial, profound, or ordinary--whatever you would like to share! List 5 and add a bonus if you feel like it!

1.  Peace:  It has been hectic ever since J. started chemo.  Now she is doing radiation.  I worry because I am not feeling like I am doing enough.  But I don't know what 'enough' is.  We only have 5 more weeks of this and we are done but it has been a long time since Easter.  J is chemo-brained at the moment and it means that all she wants to do is sleep, read and watch tv.  It means that there isn't much companionship but we'll get through it.

2.  Activity:  I am way too restless to sit at home in front of my computer everyday.  Retirement can't be this boring!  I am starting to teach a bible study in my parish on Wednesdays so that will get me out of the house.  The diocesan properties are still hung up in court so I don't know when I will have a parish again. It has been too hot to walk until yesterday.  Today it is cool again too.  Perhaps I can get out and walk a bit this morning.  Now I understand what my mother said when my dad retired:  "I married him for better and for worse, but not for lunch!"

3.  Organization:  I have never been organized but I have always counted on my spontaneity to get me through.  But this house needs some serious organization.  A couple of friends have offered to give me a day to help me organize the office.  We have never gotten moved in and after a year of boxes, it is past time to get this done.  My therapist tells me I have a case of adult onset ADD.  I probably have had it all my life and thought it was a gift to be able to do ministry!  I thought it was called 'multi-tasking'!  Oh, well, who says it isn't!

4.  Meaning:  Viktor Frankl aside, I think I am at a time in my life when I am trying to grasp what it means to be on the cusp of a new age.  I am trying to look through my beliefs and really figure out what about faith that actually makes my life run, makes my life better.  About once a month I blog on another part of theology that I am trying to work out.  Words like Redemption, Salvation, Atonement, etc. don't seem to carry the meaning of my relationship to God and Christ anymore and so I am trying to work out ways of speaking about the Bible, the Incarnation, and the mighty acts of God in ways that do make sense.  Faith has been a gift that was given; transformation is the way that I use that gift.  I am trying to steer away from all of those metaphysical words that have peppered theology so that we don't even know what they mean.  And I am using words from other disciplines to describe my relationship with the divine.  Sometimes it helps.

5.  A good recipe for Beef Bourguignon:  I have a couple of recipes that require lard or other such vein clogging ingredients.  Anybody out there got one?


Wendy said...

I feel as if I may be seeking some of the same things as a stay-at-home-mom that you are seeking in retirement. Seasons, huh?

altar ego said...

I am so there with you on the Meaning portion of faith. My faith boundary has taken on various interesting shapes over the years as it stretches to work through the implications of traditional teaching and meaning with real world encounters with life AND the divine.

As for the beef bourguignon, I'll see what I can find.

Diane said...

I would like that recipe, too...

and organization.

but most of all, I resonate with your search for peace.

Grace and peace to you....

Jan said...

Hey, you put the LINK on RevGals comments today--YAY! Your humor at your daily life helped me, and being at the cusp of newness is scary but exciting, too. Thanks for the reminder.